Sanity, Insanity, and Moi

lost in translation …

The Change

Posted by Jerry on 11:16 - March 23, 2008

move.gif

Like everything, i took a change … I moved my Blog

Sanity, Insanity and Moi, the name was fixed after a lot of rework and changes and thanks to my pals who took time to go to the site and help me with suggestions.

Now ‘Sanity’ was achieved in the title. But ‘Insanity’ crept in the ‘home’ location.

Though jerryreghunadh.wordpress.com does exist its no longer updated for latest updates visit jerrymannel.com

Hope to see everyone there…

Posted in blog, Blogging, Life, ME | 3 Comments »

Déjà Vu – The Waking

Posted by Jerry on 13:50 - March 5, 2008

Déjà vu!!!

Woke up in cold sweat.

It was still dark. No! i couldn’t open my eyes. The lids, they simply refused to budge.

My head was feeling heavy, pain running across in all direction. The feeling like some one drove a drill bit from behind. The pain was killing.

Breathing was heavy and obstructed. I had to struggle for each and every intake. The breath was more ready to leave my lung cavity than they wanted to stay in. It was a struggle to stay conscious.

It took some time for me to come to a sense close to normal. I was grunting like an old steam engine, ready to leave the platform. Every bit of muscle was put into action to move a finger.

Jolts of pain shot up in all direction. Legs!!! Couldn’t even sense them! Amputated? Paralyzed? Senses were of no use to conclude.

Arms were numb, they were drained of blood.

I lay there, just let the time pass.

5… 10… 15… i don’t know how much time i lay there in and out of consciousness, contemplating what had happened.

As time went by i knew, i was resting my body on a mattress. Through the crack in the opening of my eyes i could see blades going round and round above me, making the feeling of the cold sweat prominent.

I could make out that i was lying in that state for quite some time. I need to move and figure out what happened. How did i end up like that? I didn’t drink the last day. I came back directly from office. Remember having dinner with her. Was it HER who did this to me? She is too sweet to even hurt me by words. A Voice echoed at the back of my head, “That’s what they say about all those Bi**hes!!!”

No!! She can’t do this to me!!! No!!! Never!!!

…aaarrghhhh … i was out again… don’t know how long it was!!!

Could hear a familiar sound. What is it? Its sounds like a song, a melody? No! Its clear now, its something i have hated over the years. My Alarm!!!

Could finally reach out and turn it off and re coiled to the earlier position. What i’m in my own room!!!

Struggled to reach my mobile … Got it!!!… dialed … its ringing !!!

A voice answered from the other side, “Hello Jerry!!!”…

“I can’t come to office today!!!”

“What happened???”

“I think i have a bad cold!!!”

“Fine!!! Take rest and be back tomorrow…”

My Manager’s voice never sounded so sweet to me … Sweeter than her voice!!!

I love this FEVER!!!

Posted in Blogging, Celebrations, Cultures, Entertainment, Fun, love, ME, party, trying-out-humor | 4 Comments »

Its a 100’000 and counting ….

Posted by Jerry on 21:13 - March 1, 2008

100k.gif

Lets call it one of my dreams. Never thought i would come so far and never expected to be a regular one either. So here i’m – my blog registered 100’000 visitors…Thanks to all…:)

Some updates rolling out soon ….

Posted in blog, Blogging, Celebrations, Computer and Internet, Entertainment, festival, Fun, Media | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Groping at Gandhi Ashram

Posted by Jerry on 10:36 - February 19, 2008

I have to say it was very comforting to read the news about a foreign tourist being molested by drunk youngsters at the Gandhi Ashram in Ahmedabad, in the morning paper. Ironically they were viewing the photographs of the Indian freedom struggle when they found found themselves struggling for their dignity.

Well what happened was totally against Gandhi’s dreams and what followed was violence. One of the youngster damaged Gandhi’s photos and was later beaten up(castration could have been better), the pther escaped. No complaint was lodged keeping in mind the sanctity of the place.

Is Gandhism dead? Doesn’t his principles and teachings hold no value any more? Was He just meant to liberate us from the British Raj so that we could freely molest our women? Why is Indian Youth forgetting that they are the pillars or the country?Is bad parenting to blame?

He dreamt of an India safe for women, and what did we finally deliver? Strip teasing women in public and marry off couples in public(thanks to Bajrang Dal the whooping marriage cost is avoided). Celebrating Gandhi Jayanthi would be more insulting now.

Ask anyone if Gandhi’s teaching hold any value and 90% will say Yes. But does it really? Ask yourself…

Posted in Cultures, Freedom, Gandhi, Government, India, Law and Order, Media, Men, Nation, News and politics, Security, Sexs, Town & City Life, Violence, Women | 4 Comments »

Valentine’s Day Contemplations

Posted by Jerry on 5:29 - February 14, 2008

“You don’t have to get me a red-rose. I’m already yours!!!”, well i still don’t know if that was a trick question or not that she threw at me. All i asked her, “Shall i give you a red-rose?”

Or rather i wasn’t supposed to ask anything like that. May be it was stupid cupid playing the role of the culprit. How the hell would i ever know what she meant? Cant they just ask us what they want rather than using virtual pointers. We run Java, pointers are not an option and why else do you think we date so many and never result in garbled memory. The core is never dumped.(2 years with IT industry this is all that i have left in my mind)

Sandy had said it the right way,

“And they say, love makes the world go round.
It sure does, in damned circles of nothingness.”

Inspired from Love and his post on Nothingness, came my two posts Second in Love and Second in Love – The Closure, two close to reality stories. 3 in fact!

Trust me “Guys who are Single”, the world will be mean to you, but once SHE is there in your life, your life can never get meaner. Jokes apart they do bring in a sense of orderliness if your really serious. I have seen that in people. They change overnight. Power of Love, they say, Power of HER i say.

Some people really live their life out on LOVE. They forget that they have a life that’s precious and they forget it. All the sweet words that you might have said and those moments that you cherished are all good. But once you break-up, you need to move on. Kambath Ishq, is to be blamed? No dude. Its you at blame’s end. Move on!!!

GUYs never ever on a very special day, especially on this day, tell her that you will get food from outside. You can never be convincing enough and wont sound sweet to her at all. Trust me all that She would hear would be, “I cant eat the carp that you prepare everyday! I need a break at least today. So lets eat outside”. Let her to decide. Its the safest bet. Watch “Pyaar Ke Side-Effects”, its a nice start for beginners.

As a parting gift, here is my 2 cents – Never trust someone who says, “I cant live without YOU! You’re my life”. Thats the biggest lie in the world.

And with all these said, I wonder why i’m still here in office on Valentine Day’s eve, working. She hasn’t called either. He phone is not reachable too…

(This post is now abruptly stopped. There has been a Fire Alarm at my office and Its a fake!!! Somebody got too steamy in love on V-Day i guess.;) )

Posted in Advice, Celebrations, Computer and Internet, Cultures, Entertainment, Freedom, friends, Fun, Gender, Life, love, Men, Sexs, stupidity, terrorism, Violence, War, wedding, Women, work | 12 Comments »

Start Blogging and Continue Doing It

Posted by Jerry on 14:44 - February 8, 2008

[This is my first post in the company blog]

Its a good thing that my company introduced blogging to its employees. It was high time that this passion of a ‘netizen‘ was recognized. I see a lot of posts coming up and the enthusiasm was just simply WOW!!!. The fact is, most of the people lose their steam after the initial boost on writing. They come over enthusiastic and over time, they just don’t find what to write, some times intimidated by the way top bloggers write and the responses that they get and simply give up on blogging. “I cant do that, look how many hits (number of visitors to a blog) that person is getting.”

“So you a first time blogger… uhh????”, whats the big deal, write dude write!!! Thats what blogging initially is about. You need to write, write and write. Let that be anything about the good looking girl you found in the bus and wondering if u had her name can check her details in TedWeb, or how you burnt your break fast any damn thing goes into that. Novice bloggers – Just keep writing. You may not find any theme to write about, just write the crap that you feel like. May be no one is going to read it. So what, write.

So you are not new to blogging…!!!”, still keep writing. As you ‘mature’ (i hate to use this word), you will find out yourself that what you want to write about them most, what you like blogging about. May be its Mallaika Sherawat or Bipasha Basu , who cares write about them. Play with words. Frame some wacky phrases like – “Bipasha threw ambers of jealousy at young damsels”, just make sure that you girlfriend doesn’t read this and i’m not responsible at any cause.

The next thing that you should focus is – ‘Give and Take‘ principle. Go visit other’s blogs, read their articles, drop a comment or two at their blogs and posts. Trust me just by mere visiting no one is going to know that you visited their site. Build a community on the web. Join groups. There is a bangalorebloggers called as the Blog’a’loreans at Google.

Last, visit the top blogs around and read how they write and what draws the crowd to them. What is so special in their writing? Who are these people. I suggest – Digital Inspirations – Amit Agarwal, he is India’s first professional blogger, Kiruba Shankar, Silkboard, Seth Godin etc. These are some of my favorite. Silkboard esp. has an uncanny way to report on the bangalore traffic D . There are some Community driven blogs too like – Mutiny.in(i write here ;) ), Sepia Mutiny too.

“So you a pro blogger.. uhhh???”, great!!!. Keep writing and help others too. Its always fun to get people into blogging. The way i did it for my roommate.

Posted in blog, Blogging, Computer and Internet, Entertainment, Friends Blogging, Fun, In My Readings, IT Industry, love, wipro, work | 6 Comments »

2 Things before playing Basketball after a long time…

Posted by Jerry on 19:57 - February 7, 2008

I was out playing basketball after .. lets say its been quite some time. The last time i played actively was an year or so or may be more than that.

I finally decided, enough of sitting around and hogging trying to put on weight. I head out to the court. I bitterly learn 2 things.

1. I was not having a good diet all this time. It was all filled with cheese, chocolate and junk food. I was on a desperate move to put on weight. I need to have a more balanced diet.

2. Never wear your favorite white shirt to the court. Ya i agree that was really dumb of me. But i had to learn it the bitter way.

10 min of running on a 5-point, half-court match and man i’m out of breath and i almost felt like fainting and throwing up. Thats it. New year is long gone but my resolution this year(as of now) is to stay fit and healthy. After all its not me alone that i have to think of now. There is a new addition too …😉

Posted in Advice, BasketBall, ME, trying-out-humor | 4 Comments »

Second in LOVE – The Closure

Posted by Jerry on 11:23 - January 31, 2008

[Read the Prelude here…]

… All i remember of it is that, it was a Tuesday evening…

There i stood in front of Coffee Day at Brigade Rd., crowd brushing past me. The helmet felt heavy. Now i have to find my way back home. It was the longest five minute walk that i had. My vision blurred, shoulders heavy, emptiness was what i felt inside. I wanted to just stay there, don’t want to take my bike. Hoped someone in the crowd heard my ailing heart.

All i could do was just watch her go. The auto spurted out oil and smoke, roared and joined the ocean of traffic. She was gone. Forever! She was so close and now that she was gone and it ripped my heart out. There was an emptiness that i never felt before, as i watched the auto-rickshaw fade out and disappear. I wanted to run after it, begging her not to go. But i couldn’t even move a muscle.

She was committed, she was with another person. But, She loved ME. 2 weeks that’s all that took us to get close and know each other like we knew ourselves. The 2 weeks that i’m never going to get back and the 2 weeks i was in love. Yes i was in LOVE. 2 years in Bangalore and i never felt so happy.

I had already told her that i love her, and she had told me too that she was committed. But there was something with in us that couldn’t keep either of us from talking to each other, staying in contact, going for lunch and dinner.

I vividly recollect. That day, i left office early and rang her up and asked if she can join me for dinner. She took time to answer, but it was a YES. I knew that even though she was with him she loved me and she had confessed to that.

“I don’t know why i want to talk to you; I don’t know why i want to be with you”, she broke out one day, “i know i’m not doing the right thing, i’m not being fair to him. All i know is that i want to be with you”

She knew that it was all wrong and i never had the strength to stop her. I was falling in love and i was falling hard. I was happy. 100%. We talked for hours at length till we were tired, messaged long enough to make our fingers sore, felt the warmth of love, as moments passed we wanted to be with each other more and more.

Saturday on our way to dinner, he called. She said she was going home and what else could she have done than to lie to that poor soul. He was suspicious. He called again; She turned to me and asked,

“What should i tell him?”

“Tell him the truth”, i just couldn’t tell her to lie and i never could.

She did and i saw her smile fade away. She was happy, till that time a bit confused too, but now she felt her consciousness prick. There ended the dinner and i had no idea that it would be the last time we would be together. I dropped her right out side her home, “Good night”, and drove off didn’t even wanted to listen what she wanted to tell me.

A day passed, before we actually spoke. From day one she only had questions to ask me and i wasn’t surprised a bit when these were her first words following ‘hello’,

“What if i say YES to you?”

“One person would be happy and another one would be broken”, i had to be correct as i knew the answer was going to change the tide of our relation, “People will say you left a guy whom you knew for one and a half years for a guy whom you knew only for a week… what ever you decision is i support that…”

“I need to think, will call you in the evening”

The call went dead. I rang her up in the evening and asked for her decision; all she wanted was to meet the next day. So there i was waiting not knowing what her decision was. I was praying and hoping that it would be a positive one and the way she spoke the other day, i was growing confident.

Ladies have to be fashionably late. So i didn’t expect her any sooner. I settled in my chair, sipping the sweet-bitter coffee, and just recollected where i was a week ago and now where i’m. So much has changed in so little a time and i felt like i gained something.

She was the girl i always wanted. I had been with and known enough girls and i knew exactly what kind of a girl i wanted. She was sweet, innocent and sometimes irritatingly sweet and innocent. She was so true to heart that she was unable to take the fact that she was disappointing someone. She repeatedly said that she was cheating him. She didn’t even laugh at my stupid jokes as she never got them and i had to take time to explain them. Opposite do attract. There was many striking similarities that we shared with family matters, tastes and even personal things. The most amusing thing was that she never wanted branded items neither did i. She questioned me for the amount of money i spent on food. Food was the single most expensive thing that spent all my money on. If the food is good then i won’t mind spending anything on it. She believed on sharing what ever expenses occurred when we were together. I had to save my dignity, so never accepted any money. She was all too much perfect. I began planning to telling my parents and to get things rolling. Yes i saw 10 years down the line. And i was dreaming in a busy place, oblivious to my chaotic surrounding.

There She comes, the queen of my most delectable dreams. Its you. My heart was missing a beat, No! it almost stopped. As she neared i saw that the shine in her eyes had gone, the freshness in her face had faded, she had a worn look and walked towards me like she was fighting the pull of someone from behind. Everything just vanished from my mind, the dreams that i built up was gone, my mind was like the most barren land. She sat on the chair next to me. I stared into her eyes searching to find myself. I didn’t had the strength to look anymore and turned away.

“Can you consider me as your friend? … “, those words were like barbwire threading through my heart. Everything just froze at that moment.

“Why? Why? I told you that i will be keeping hope and i told you not to disappoint me”

“Me and him are almost breaking up…”

I interrupted her, “…So that means that you can be with me right…”

“No … i can’t be with you either”, “Why?”

“I love you, which you can be certain of. But i don’t think i can be with you after the guilty feeling that’s killing me, thinking what i did to him. We lost it. He is totally broke. And I’m to blame”

I looked at her. She was torn between the two of us. Her eyes spoke as i looked into those limpid pools, that were about to overflow, ‘… I want to be with you forever. But after what i did to him i won’t be able to be fully happy with you. You make me happy and make me smile, but if i’m not truly happy, its same as cheating you… ‘

She turned away, she didn’t want me to see her through. She broke the silence, “Please! you will have to forget me… Please”

“I cant. Ever! Something in life is sure to remind me of you all the time… and you can’t ask me that…”

“Hope you’d understand… I love you…”

She got up to leave. I just followed her in silence. Nothing mattered now. The traffic was no more deafening, there was silence everywhere. I couldn’t even look up and face the crowd. I was afraid that someone might read me though. I followed her in silence. We didn’t speak a word. She walked for some time and picked up pace, i tried to keep up but i had already fallen and i couldn’t even look up.

“Auto!!! Jayanagar…”, she didn’t even look back

She was lost. I’m still in search for the missing beat of my heart.

The rhythm that i found and lost in 2 weeks. The most musical 2 weeks ever. The two most wonderful weeks of my life. Now its just silence. Melody has given way to Melancholy.

I’m moving on, thinking some day we will be together… Some day…

Nothingness remains

Posted in Blogging, Celebrations, Cultures, Fun, Life, love, ME | 7 Comments »

And one day i was on Bangalore Mirror

Posted by Jerry on 16:08 - January 29, 2008

Because of the on going Blogathon work i was featured in Bangalore Mirror.

Here is the snap shot

[thanks Mohan]

Its me at the far left ..:)

Posted in blogaloreans, Blogging, Celebrations, Computer and Internet, Fun, Media | 3 Comments »

Cricket Virus

Posted by Jerry on 14:58 - January 28, 2008

A game that is nowhere gets a whole page of news. A foreign Tennis player gets half a page when he is victorious. Yet the Indian pair of Bhupathi and Sania just gets less than quarter a page. They represented India, and they were beaten in the finals. If we can create a huge fuss about Indian cricket loosing then we can celebrate their near title miss. I have no idea. Leave all that how many knew that they made it to the finals of the mixed doubles at Australian Open

Over the days i have come to hate Cricket. It has become the single most inappropriate game that the Indians pursue these days. Its no less than a masala flick from a skimpy clad bollywood actress. There is nothing that you can define which is worth to be defined as memorable or a truly historic. I can hear people shout out what about the win at Perth? What about the lack of sportsmanship that was displayed by the mighty Aussies. I say damn all that. It was all as good as the wardrobe malfunction at fashion shows – you got to see something that you generally don’t see.

A racist remark, umpiring errors, a whole nation roars against that, a dramatic decision by the governing body, gentleman behavior by the captain – i’m asking do we need all these hype. Do we need cricket to survive. With cricket we no longer consider our neighbor as the arch rival anymore, its an island, miles south. The nation is celebrating victories and is doing injustice to other sports.

I dont care if the team loses or wins. The media makes sure that news reaches me even if i dont want to read it. Its in the front page of every news paper, flash news on TV. get out on the road, every one speaks about that, at work place the screens will have the score board open and local commentators shout out updates. I’m sick of this. Cant we just have some other sports take the center stage.

Does anyone care about what is happening to the other players. May be the media should dedicate time for other sports as well. At least report on the pitiable conditions of the other players. May be it should just avoid reporting in cricket. They are not GODs. They don’t deserve so much of attention.

Indians wake up, its just a game. F**K cricket. Its not really worthy of any praise now.

Posted in Advice, attitude, Cricket, Cultures, Entertainment, games, Government, Hockey, India, Media, Nation, News and politics, Sport | 2 Comments »

 
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